


Last Dance

by leejenowo



Series: Ships that should sail [11]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Falling Out of Love, M/M, no happy ending, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:42:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22698067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leejenowo/pseuds/leejenowo
Summary: Mark and Renjun are brought together as fast as they fall apart.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee
Series: Ships that should sail [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1157306
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Last Dance

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing angst in literally years and it's inspired by a past relationship oop  
> it's short because i just couldnt bring myself to write more  
> this was brought to you by the song Last Dance - One ok Rock

Renjun takes a deep breath, “be my boyfriend?”

“So, that’s it?” Mark asks Renjun.

The other nods, “that’s it.”

\----

Their relationship starts weirdly. Every time someone asks them, they’ll insist that it wasn’t a blind date ― because it wasn’t, they were just hanging out together for the first time while their common friends leached on each other across the table ― but it sure felt like one. Long silences, awkward laughs and random life facts. Both stuck on the opposite side of Jaemin, Jisung and Chenle who are holding each other’s hands under the table ― Jisung is feeding Jaemin fries, so there’s no way either of his hand is free to do anything ― Mark and Renjun are forced to make small talk with each other.

Everything is weird on that day and they do the most awkward handshake when they part ways, quick to leave each other’s side after all the formalities are exchanged. It makes both of them feel like they’re 50 years old dads meeting at their kids’ first day of school, but they’re young adults who are just starting to explore their twenties. So they decided to greet more warmly the next time they get to hang out in the same vicinity, simply because it just feels even weirder to act like this with someone who’s the same age.

It’s clear that the next time they meet, they’ve resorted to being friendly with one another and the whole thing goes smoothly. They’re in a bar to celebrate Chenle’s coming of age, despite the youngest complaining that he’s missing one boyfriend. In the end, Mark and Renjun end up at the bar, casually talking about the way Donghyuck is forcing Jeno to dance to the music.

“They’re so corny,” Renjun comments under the sound of the booming bass.

Mark agrees, “couldn’t be me!”

The next day, Renjun wakes up with the worst hangover headache and the lingering feeling of Mark’s hand around his wrist when he dragged him on the dance floor to prove his point.

\---

From then, Renjun meets with his friends without Mark multiple times, and each of those hangouts, one of them mentions how cute they would be as a couple. He never says anything back to that, but it gets him thinking. Well, Mark isn’t  _ ugly _ . He’s kinda sweet too, but not  _ cheesy _ . He’s a bit stupid, but not in a bad way. Actually, Mark resembles a little beagle. And maybe Renjun wouldn’t mind spending a night with his head on his lap, playing with his hair. But with each hangout, Renjun starts thinking about it more and more. 

At one point, he comes to the realization that he does, in fact, have a tiny crush on Mark Lee, and yet he’s still not doing anything about it until one day Mark confronts him.

“When are you going to ask me out?”

The question makes Renjun stop all of his doing. For a moment, it feels like even his brain stops sending signals to the rest of his body: his breath catches in his throat, his limbs freeze, his mouth goes dry and his ears start ringing. It takes everything in him to formulate a proper reply that would later make him want to facepalm.

“Be my boyfriend.”

\---

That’s how things really start for the couple. Despite how much they both say that they’re not the type to be cheesy, they end up going through a honeymoon phase that makes them sickeningly sweet. Whenever they’re together, they have to be touching in some way: holding hands, cuddling up on the couch, back hugging while Mark is cooking breakfast or even going as far as walking with each other’s hand in the back pocket of their jean. They exchange clothes and leave some personal belonging at each other’s house, because that’s what couples do, right?

They fall into a routine that makes them both feel safe and comfortable in their personal space. It goes on for a couple of months, Renjun going over to Mark’s apartment for a couple of days and just cooking, cuddling and kissing. And then they do the opposite, Mark goes over and they hang out with each other, going on dates and meeting with their friends. 

Every time the whole group is together, the focus is mostly on Mark and Renjun and how cute they look together. Whenever comments about them make their way through the conversation, all they can do is cling to each other tighter and smile a bit. Neither of them is sure if looking like a married couple 5 months into a relationship really is a compliment.

Things just go so well between them that there’s no surprise when they suddenly go from just dating and being with each other to saying ‘I love you’ every time they look into each other’s eyes. They truly become that glued together couple in little to no time and that’s probably why people compare them to a married couple.

But for Renjun, their symbiotic relationship takes a bad turn as quickly as it began. Suddenly, it’s like there’s something always coming between them, and it’s not physical. They both work part-time and go to school, hang out with their friends, take alone time, and yet they have time to be with each other and enjoy it. Renjun first realizes that there’s something wrong in the middle of making out with Mark. It’s not something he’s unfamiliar with, but this time there’s this little lingering thought in the back of his mind that he just… doesn’t  _ like  _ kissing Mark, at least not anymore. It’s not that his boyfriend is a bad kisser ― not his in opinion ― but the tugging in his stomach makes him push Mark away. The only excuse he finds is that he doesn’t like having someone else’s tongue go down his throat. It’s honestly a good reason when you take the time to think about it, but Mark is angry at him for not telling him earlier. And he’s absolutely valid, Renjun would have said something about it earlier, but he has never had a thought like that before. Eventually, things go back to normal, minus making out.

The next time Renjun notices that something is going wrong, everything happens out of nowhere. He’s driving Mark back home after spending the weekend together at his own place and he’s just turning on Mark’s street when he turns to see his boyfriend crying. He has no idea why and most people would be curious about it, but not Renjun. He actually feels quite unempathetic when looking at Mark’s figure. The only reason why he doesn’t feel totally heartless at that exact moment is the fact that he still feels the urge to console him. He holds his hand until his boyfriend stops crying and sniffles. They don’t kiss goodbye on that night.

Renjun lays in bed, thinking about what could be wrong with him. He doesn’t want to kiss Mark anymore. He doesn’t feel anything when Mark cries. He doesn’t…  _ love  _ Mark right at that moment. When he’s there, in his bed and alone, he doesn’t feel any of the warmth he used to at the simple thought of having a boyfriend.

\---

The situation only goes south from there. They don’t touch each other anymore when they’re in bed. They’re together, but so far away, as if there was a wall between the two of them. Most of the time, they just go to sleep in silence, but Mark speaks once.

“You don’t share things with me anymore.”

It’s not a question, it’s an affirmation. He’s right, Renjun hasn’t been opening up to Mark recently. He just has nothing to say to him, so he keeps silent and turns away from Mark.

When he wakes up in the middle of the night, the other side of the bed is cold. He stays still for a couple of minutes, thinking that he might be in the bathroom or he went to get a glass of water, but he doesn’t come back and there’s no sound at all in the apartment. He decides to get up to find him and tiptoes into the living room to see him asleep on the couch. He turns around, goes back to bed and doesn’t mention it.

It’s just not working anymore. Renjun doesn’t love Mark anymore.

And Mark doesn’t love Renjun anymore.

\---

Mark takes a deep breath, “let’s break up.”

“So, that’s it?” Renjun asks Mark.

The other nods, “that’s it.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you ever fall out of love, please spare you and your significant other the heartache of trying to make things work. you'll know when things are not working anymore and its best if you dont drag it on in the hopes of fixing something that can't be fixed (aka don't date someone for over a year when you're not sure of your feelings anymore)


End file.
